Breathe Again - Sara Bareilles

Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn't look back
At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I will still call yours?
All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one
Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again

Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view
Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart
And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again

It hurts to be here
I only wanted love from you
It hurts to be here
What am I gonna do?

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching
All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again

Coney Island Sideshow School

(I'd like to go there...)

Stars and Stamina and Serendipity and Soulfulness

People are now depressed for entirely different reasons. We are not disparaged, told we are ugly, damaged, worthless, or incapable of thought. We are commended for simple, stupid undertakings. We are complimented conventionally and regularly. We are told that we are stars.

This puts people under the same pressure as any star. Worried that after the star has burned out, we'll be shoved out to sea in a leaking canoe.

And quite a few of us burn out too quickly.

Simultaneously, expectations have been lowered to accommodate the fragile average joes, and raised to challenge the truly exceptional. We are torn, divided, and conquered. We are inwardly focussed.

I am a self-absorbed nit. But I have noticed a few things. I have tried, despite life-long indoctrination, to think outside my own petty universe. When I do this, I am never upset. I never cry, or rage, or burn things. When I merely observe, and observe with avid interest, I do not feel anything. I merely absorb. It is only when I think in relation to myself that the feelings flood and threaten to sweep me away. Finding the balance between selfless observation and selfish contemplation is crucial.

My advice is not to be a star. Be the furthest thing from a star. Be the audience. There are things in this world that make me want to throw myself into the ocean. There are things in this world that make me laugh, and things that make me never want to close my eyes again. I have seen things that have caused joy, wonderful elation so far beyond even the bliss of contentment.

So many stars have brought me joy. I am enjoying the show.

But I still sort of want to be on the stage.

WE'RE SO LAME!

has the blog died? JUST BECAUSE IT'S APRIL. JESUS WANTED US TO LIIIVVVEE!!!

"Lost In You" - Three Days Grace

I always knew that you would come back to get me
And you always knew that it wouldn't be easy
To go back to the start to see where it all began
Or end up at the bottom to watch how it all ends

You tried to lie and say I was everything
I remember when I said I'm nothing without you
I'm nothing without you

Somehow I found a way to get lost in you
Let me inside, let me get close to you
Change your mind I'll get lost if you want me to
Somehow I found a way to get lost in you

You always thought that I left myself open
But you didn't know I was already broken
I told myself that it wouldn't be so bad
But pulling away you took everything I had
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/three-days-grace-lyrics/lost-in-you-lyrics.html ]

You tried to lie and say I was everything
I remember when I said I'm nothing without you
I'm nothing without you

Somehow I found a way to get lost in you
Let me inside, let me get close to you
Change your mind I'll get lost if you want me to
Somehow I found a way to get lost in you, in you

The pain of it all, the rise and the fall
I see it all in you
Now every day I find myself saying
I want to get lost in you, I'm nothing without you

Somehow I found a way to get lost in you
Let me inside, let me get close to you
Change your mind I'll get lost if you want me to
Somehow I found a way to get lost in you
A way to get lost in you

"The Ballad of Mona Lisa" - Panic! At the Disco

She paints her fingers with a close precision
He starts to notice empty bottles of gin
And takes a moment to assess the sin she’s paid for...
A lonely speaker in a conversation
Her words are swimming through his ears again
There’s nothing wrong with just taste of what you paid for
Say what you mean tell me im right and let the sun rain down on me give me a sign
I wanna believe
Whoa Mona Lisa, you’re guaranteed to run this town Whoa Mona Lisa I’d pay to see you frown
He sense something call it desperation another dollar another day and if she has the proper words to say she’d tell but she’d have nothing left to sell him...
Say what you mean tell me I’m right and let the sun rain down on me give me a sign I wanna believe
Whoa Mona Lisa, you’re guaranteed to run this town Whoa Mona Lisa I’d pay to see you frown
Oh Mona Lisa
Say what you mean tell me I’m right and let the sun rain down on me give me a sign
I wanna believe
Whoa Mona Lisa, you’re guaranteed to run this town Whoa Mona Lisa I’d pay to see you frown
Say what you mean tell me I’m right and let the sun rain down on me give me a sign
I wanna believe
There’s nothing wrong with just a taste of what you paid for....

Anesthetized

I lie here

She stands over me, needle in her hand

Her fingers grasp my wrist

And I try to prepare myself

But how?

Pain radiates out from my hand, so intense

Cold, unyielding, blossoming like some deadly flower

I can feel her screwing something onto it

But even now

Reality seems to be melting away

The plunger goes in

White ice flows through my veins

She's counting, fainter and fainter

Then

Nothing

The Gold Rush

Thoughts about life and death bore me to the grave. But whenever I forget the profound I become selfish and impersonal and I don't like that either. Can I concentrate for a minute please, Don Cherry: your voice gets inside my head. Turn down the volume or I think my ears might fall off. An interesting strategy, but I'm not sure if it will pay off later in the game...

I can dance if I want to. Charlie Chaplin did.

If I can make you see tawny burlap curtains, white walls,

if you can smell apple cores decomposing...

I am the greatest poet in the world.

"Gorecki" - Lamb

If I should die this very moment, I wouldn't fear

For I've never known completeness like being here

Wrapped in the warmth of you, loving every breath of you

Still my heart this moment, oh it might burst

Could we stay right here till the end of time, till the earth stops turning

Wanna love you till the seas run dry

I found the one I've waited for

All this time I've loved you, and never known your face

All this time I've missed you, and searched this human race

Here is true peace, here my heart knows calm

Safe in your soul, bathed in your sides

Wanna stay right here till the end of time, till the earth stops turning

Wanna love you till the seas run dry

I found the one I've waited for

The one I've waited for

All I've known, all I've done, all I've felt

Was leading to this

All I've known, all I've done, all I've felt

Was leading to this

Wanna stay right here till the end of time, till the earth stops turning

Gonna love you till the seas run dry

I found the one I've waited for

The one I've waited for

Wanna stay right here till the end of time, till the earth stops turning

Gonna love you till the seas run dry

I found the one I've waited for

The one I've waited for

The one I've waited for