Mum

That is how it is supposed to be spelled. M-u-m. She was very firm on this matter. She would mock me if I said m-o-m, pronounced mawm. Mum. It is also a word which means zipping your lips. Quiet, keep mum and ne touchez pas. I like this sort of upbringing and I still take it very seriously. I quarreled most ardently with a girl named Christina in grade four because she would not accept M-u-m.

Dad tried to get me to call her Mama when I was three. He knew that would really make her mad.

Sexism is something that I feel that I have not experienced. Mum worries about this. I watch that MadMen show with their elegant flair and debonair mien. A bottle of whiskey in every drawer and a cigarette hanging from every mouth. The way people used to be, when the woman played her part perfectly. The men are all idiots. The secretaries humor them and giggle girlishly, oh, it is sickening. I want to go back to that time.

'Uh, no you don't,' Mum upbraids me. 'Women were treated like crap.'

'I'd like something to fight for.'

'Ha. There still is something to fight for.' Mum has wide eyes and a high, drawn out tone due to irritation. She expects me to know this already. 'Dolt.'