Mum's the word

I get really stressed out when I can't ask people what they're thinking at that very moment whilst on the telephone with me and they sound distressed. But it's more awkward on the telephone due to the fact 1) they're not YOUR mum 2) They're your FRIEND'S mum 3) you actually don't know her well enough to ask a question beyond " how's work, ma'am?" and 4) I'm a neurotic girl opposed to telecommunications.